188 | Rewind: The X Factor

“I’m just not good with money.”

So many lawyers believe this or similar statements about their abilities with money.

But all of them stem from the mistaken belief that some people are inherently good with money. That some people have the “X factor” and others don’t.

It’s not true, and if you keep believing that, it will keep you from taking the necessary steps to make the progress you want to make with your money.

In this episode, let’s talk about the truth about people who are good with money and how believing there’s an X factor is hindering you in your finances.

• • examples of labels many lawyers put on themselves about money
  • the truth about people who are good with money
  • my story of being in debt and then teaching lawyers about money
  • what happens when people believe some people are good with money and others aren’t
  • how your finances are like a young child
  • the recipe for managing your money well

You’re listening to Wealthyesque. We are a community of lawyers who believe that true wealth is having control of our time. I’m Rho Thomas, and as a busy wife, mom, and former Biglaw associate, I know all too well the tension between the culture of the legal profession and pretty much everything else you want to do in life. That’s why each week, I’m bringing you the information and tools you need to improve your money mindset and manage your money to create true wealth. Because ultimately, it’s not about the money. It’s about the freedom and flexibility the money affords.

Hey friend. Welcome back to the show. I hope you’re doing well and having an amazing day so far. Today we are taking it back with a rewind episode. This episode is all about the mistaken belief that some people are just inherently good with money and some people aren’t. If you are believing that, it is not true, and it’s keeping you from all the things that you could be accomplishing with your money, so I want you to take a listen to this episode, start shifting that belief and start understanding the truth about what it takes to be good with money to manage your money well and to build wealth. Let’s dive in.

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Today we are talking about the idea that some people are just born good with money. The idea that being good with money is some inherent talent or some inequality that some leaders have and others don’t. And if you don’t have it, then you’re out of luck. And there’s nothing you can do about it. I hear people say things like that all the time where they will define themselves as just not good with money or I’m just a spender or I just can’t keep up with the budget or whatever it is like defining themselves by these qualities of not managing their money the way they want to, and they talk about it as though it’s just something you have or you don’t, but there is no X Factor. There’s no natural talent that some people are blessed with at birth to be a minister might need some divine gift from God, right? Yes, there might be some people who like numbers and leipers finance stuff more than others, which means that they probably are gonna spend more time consuming that content like read books and listen to podcast and that kind of thing. That’s me. I enjoy that stuff, which is why I do the work I do and feel really passionate about it, but it’s not an X factor that I have and you don’t. I’ve just taken the time to learn over the years and I put that information that I’ve learned in practice, I implemented it in my own finances to achieve the goals that I had for myself and my family. And if you don’t know my story, I was in massive debt. I didn’t know what I was doing today. I used to overdraft my bank account sometimes right all that kind of stuff. But over the years I learned how to manage my personal finances better and now here I am teaching lawyers how to manage their suit. So I’m living proof that there is no x factor. It’s not something that you just born with or not managing money. Well. It’s a skill that you can learn. If you believe some people are just good with money and some aren’t I really want to hear you on this part. That is an excuse that your brain is offering to you. It’s a way for your brain not to have to deal with change for you not to have to do different things. For what you’re doing. Now. Our brains like they want things to stay the same. They want avoid discomfort that can come with change. So if your brain can make you believe that some people are just born with the skill and you are then you think there’s nothing you can do about it. There’s nothing you do to change a situation and you can just keep going along doing what you’re doing now. When you believe that you’re not gonna take steps to learn how to manage your money. You’re going to throw your hands up and talk about not having this X Factor and ultimately the idea that are not going to become a self fulfilling prophecy. Not because you’re actually just not good with money, but because you’re avoiding learning the skills to manage money better, and you’re making mistakes that you don’t have to make if you were just gonna steal and keep yourself in a cycle of never ever in your finances. There’s nothing special about me or anyone else who wants to manage finances, anyone who has motivated anyone who has learned to save anyone who’s learned to build wealth, we’re just willing to do things that you aren’t willing to do yet. We’ve been willing to take the time to learn about money. We’re willing to sacrifice in the short term for a long term goal that we have. I talked to a lot of boys who don’t want to be for things they want them right now. Like I gave the analogy recently of a young kids want to do all the things on their own, but not quite strong enough. And if they tried to do something that’s heavy, and they hurt themselves, versus when they get older, they build those muscles, and they look the thing is not a problem. Same thing with your finances. A lot of lawyers try to do too much too soon, while their finances are so weak. And that’s how you hurt yourself. Right? That’s how you end up in the paycheck to paycheck cycle or with credit cards or with no savings. You have all the things that you want. You have the dream house, the dream car, the dream, whatever. It doesn’t feel anything, if you’d like less stress, and it’s only because your finances weren’t yet strong enough to take those things on yet. You already had debt with payment coming out or you didn’t have a cushion or you didn’t know how to manage the money coming in and you weren’t willing to wait to get those things taken care of first. So now you’re adding all these extra things is stretching your finances so tight that you don’t have the room to absorb or to handle an expense or anything want to do or whatever it is for you. But it’s not because you don’t have some innate ability to manage money well. It’s that you weren’t willing to learn and implement the things that you need to do to get yourself on a stronger financial footing first. I tell people all the time if you can practice all you can manage money. Managing your money well, building wealth, all of that is really simple way simpler than sophisticated thing that you’re doing in your practice. You don’t have to win a lottery. You don’t have to start a side business. You don’t have to have some well, people you didn’t know about guys and billion dollars, you’re gonna make way more than a million dollars in your job. The question is, how much are you gonna keep? How much you keep comes from you learning the skill of managing money well, and that’s why there are people who achieve millionaire status who aren’t working in fields that are traditionally highly paid and there are people who are in high paying fields who are broke, because it’s not about how much money you make. It’s about how much you keep. And again, that goes back to you learning the skills so it’s not having special X Factor. It’s not about being born good with money or not good with money. It’s literally learning skills coupled with creating the mindset to implement them. And I use the word cultivate very purposely here because you can change your mindset. This is exactly the work I do with my clients over the course of working together. Yes, I teach you skills, but more importantly, I help you change your mindset and think about money and your ability to manage it differently. And that’s what makes it all come together. There is no X factor only be willing to learn and do the work to achieve the goals you have. So don’t give yourself the excuse of not being open anymore. It’s not true. If you can only practice while you can learn management, the thing you have to decide is whether you’re willing to do so. If you’re not that’s perfectly fine, but be honest yourself about it. The worst thing is lying to yourself right don’t tell yourself you’re just not good with money. Tell yourself that yes, I can learn some new skills. I can choose to do different things with my finances. And I just don’t want to do that right now.

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Alright, I hope you enjoyed that rewind episode. As I said in the episode, if you can practice law, you can manage your money better. You can build wealth, they are skills that you can learn. It’s not that somebody is inherently good or better at it than you. So if you’re willing to put in that time, you can absolutely do it. Alright, that is it for this week’s episode. If you have not done so already, please share this show with a friend. I want to get this information in the hands of as many lawyers as possible. And so by sharing this episode with a friend or two, that will really help and I completely appreciate and I appreciate your support. As we close out friend, I pray that you take the information you learn here, apply it in your life and open up to the realization that wealth is available to you. As you do that consistently. Week after week. You’ll continue to take steps to regain control of your time, build wealth and live a life of freedom and choice. You deserve. Talk to you later.