180 | The Difference Maker

Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you’re right.

Your belief makes all the difference in your ability to achieve your goals. The way you look at your goals and what other people have done dictates what you achieve.

In this episode, let’s talk about a recent conversation I had with one of the first readers of my original blog and the importance of believing that you can achieve the things you want to achieve.

• • my conversation with one of the first readers of my original blog
  • negative comments I used to get on my blog posts
  • how I viewed other people’s debt stories when we were still in debt
  • the contrast between that first blog reader and the negative commenters
  • the power of believing that things are possible for you
  • starting my business and hearing a story of a woman who built a business in more difficult circumstances than mine
  • how to use the stories of people who are doing things you want to do

You’re listening to Wealthyesque. We are a community of lawyers who believe that true wealth is having control of our time. I’m Rho Thomas, and as a busy wife, mom, and former Biglaw associate, I know all too well the tension between the culture of the legal profession and pretty much everything else you want to do in life. That’s why each week, I’m bringing you the information and tools you need to improve your money mindset and manage your money to create true wealth. Because ultimately, it’s not about the money. It’s about the freedom and flexibility the money affords.

Hey friend. Welcome back to the show. I hope you’re doing well and having an amazing day so far. Today we are talking about your belief in your ability to achieve your goals. I was just talking with one of the first readers of my original blog and she was telling me that she and her husband have paid off everything but their mortgage, all based off the things I used to share about what my husband and I were doing. And it made me think about the fact that a lot of times people will come on the blog, like comment on my posts about how the things I was sharing, were easy for me and my husband because of our professions because I’m a lawyer and he’s a doctor. And the blog was not specific to lawyers that when I first started it was just a hobby blog. It wasn’t really for anybody in particular, it was just sharing our journey and what we were doing and so it attracted all kinds of people. And a lot of times people would use the fact that I’m a lawyer and my husband’s a doctor, or that we’re married or whatever else, like whatever other things that I might have shared about my life as a reason why they weren’t able to do the same things that we were doing. And I was thinking too, about how before that like before I started my blog, I came across all kinds of different podcasts and blogs with just regular people sharing their stories and sharing their journeys out of debt and I found those to be really helpful. I had read the books from the experts and stuff like that, too. And they were helpful, but I was really inspired by seeing regular people sharing their stories and the things that they were able to do with their finances because I believed that if they could do it then we could do it too. But here’s the thing. All the people that I came across had a lot less debt than we had. If you are not familiar with my husband and my story we had over $670,000 of debt and a negative $342,000 net worth when we first started back in 2016. And the majority of that was our student loans so it’s not like we could just sell something and pay it off. But anyway, the blog’s that I was coming across were like hey, I paid off my $30,000 of debt or you know, the highest one I came across was I paid off 90,000. And that one was a blog called No More Harvard debt. And it looks like the blog is not available anymore but he turned those blog posts into a book. But that was the highest debt balance that I had seen. And we had 670,000 so it was a lot more than what I was typically seeing. I could have looked at that as like, oh well. It’s easy for them because they only had 30,000 or they only had 90,000. But I didn’t. I was inspired by their stories. And I figured that if they could do it, we could do it too, because they were just regular people like us. There wasn’t anything special about them and their ability to pay off debt. Yes, they had a lower amount. So I knew it was going to take us longer, but I believe that what they had done was possible for us. too. So bringing it back to that first blog later in the conversation where she was telling you about everything she and her husband paid off. It is such a contrast to the other people who would comment on my blog and they would dismiss what I was sharing because their circumstances weren’t exactly like mine. That first reader and her husband aren’t lawyers or doctors. They have a single income household. They live in a completely different part of the world, but they believe what I was sharing was possible for them and they use it to pay off all their debt except their mortgage. It all highlights the importance of the belief, the belief in your ability to do what you want to do to do what you see somebody else doing. The people who looked at our circumstances and our professions and the fact that we’re married and whatever else as reasons why they weren’t able to do it never got started. If I had looked at those people who had paid off the 30,000 or the 90,000 and thought, well that’s easy for them because they don’t have as much debt. I would have never looked at how what they were doing was possible for us too. I believed that it was possible for us and we did it if you believe it’s possible for you, then you’ll do it. You’ll figure out how to take the things that I’m saying to you or the things that you read or the things you hear from other people and you’ll adapt them to your situation. If you just shut it down and dismiss it because you think they have some special circumstance that you don’t have so they can do it and you can’t and you’re never gonna try to figure it out and you’re never going to get started in the first place. Here’s another example that is not related to personal finance, but I officially started my business back in 2020. Before that, I had the blog I was just telling you about and I would do these one off sessions with people but I officially started my business in 2020. I felt called to do it. But it also felt like the absolute worst time I was still practicing law, we were in the middle or really the start of a pandemic. My husband’s a doctor, so I didn’t know the risks associated with him continuing to go in and see patients. Our kids were three and one at the time. Like all the reasons in the world why I shouldn’t have started this business but I felt like God was calling me to do it. And I believed that everything would work out the way it was supposed to. But I also still had these doubts about all the circumstances that I had going on. And what about this? And what about that, like all of those things that tend to hold us back from doing the things that we want to do? Maybe six months or so into my business, I heard a story about this woman who escaped from an abusive relationship with her four kids. And then she lost her job in the pandemic. So all of a sudden, she was a single mom who was unemployed, so she had even more reasons than I did not to start a business. But she did. She started when she figured it out. And she ultimately built her business to seven figures. And seeing that I was like, You know what, I can do this. She’s got all these things stacked against her and she still did it so I can do it too. So I didn’t quit I kept going and now here I am still going strong three years later. So I say all that to say there are all kinds of people dealing with all kinds of things in the world, just because you don’t have the exact same circumstances as someone else doesn’t mean that you can’t do the thing that they did. When you see someone doing something that you want to do. That means it’s possible for you to do it to just the fact that someone has done it means you can’t do but you have to believe that because if you don’t believe it, then it’s got to be just like the people who used to make the comments on my blog. It’s like that Henry Ford quote that says whether you believe you can or believe you can’t You’re right. Your beliefs about what you can do and what’s available to you and what’s possible for you dictate so much more than you realize the tactics, the strategies, like all of that stuff is great, but if you don’t have the belief behind it, I can lay everything out for you and tell you step by step. This is exactly what to do from A to Z and you won’t do it because you don’t believe that it’s gonna work for you. Your belief is everything and I really wanted to highlight that because I am so so proud of that first reader who improved her finances so much from a blog where I was just sharing what we were doing simply because she believed she could do it too. That made all the difference for her that belief. So I really, really want you to think about the importance of your belief. And if you want support to build your belief in your ability to achieve your goals and a step by step framework to follow join us at Money Mastery, you can get started at rho thomas.com/join. Alright, that is it for this week’s episode. Thank you so much for listening. And if you haven’t done so already, please subscribe to the show and leave a review. Both of those things help more lawyers to find the show and I greatly appreciate it. As we close out friend, I pray that you take the information you learned here, apply it in your life and open up to the realization that wealth is available to you. As you do that consistently. Week after week. You’ll continue to take steps to regain control of your time, build wealth and live a life of freedom and choice you deserve. Talk to you later.