045 | Defying History and Leaving a Legacy

The world has experienced a lot of discomfort in the last year after coming face-to-face with the realities of the Black American experience—which have been hidden in plain sight for centuries—during a pandemic when there was little else to focus on.

In the wake of the Derek Chauvin verdict, I’m reflecting on facets of Black history, how they impact money in the Black community, and changing the narrative to accomplish your money goals and leave a legacy.

Lightly edited transcript appears after the show notes.

 Topics Discussed

• some history about education and money in the Black community in America
• the story you’re telling yourself about your history
• the importance of personal finance and financial independence to leaving a legacy

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Resources mentioned

Lifestyle Freedom Starter Guide

The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America’s Great Migration by Isabel Wilkerson

Episode 44: What’s the Story You’re Telling Yourself?

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Email: hello@rhothomas.com

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Lightly Edited Transcript

Hey friend. I hope you are well.

I have been reflecting a lot, and I want to talk today about the history of Black people in America, and how that history influences why I’m doing what I’m doing in terms of pursuing financial independence.

We talked last week about the stories that we tell ourselves. And so I want to just highlight some of the things that have happened in the history of Black America, and how they impact me.

In the wake of the Derek Chauvin verdict, I was thinking back on all the events of last summer when George Floyd and Breonna Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery were murdered back-to-back, and I was in a lot of pain at that time.

I’m still in a lot of pain if I’m honest, but at that time it was really raw, like I was crying every day. I remember being on a call with a partner who I work with sometimes, and she asked me how I was doing, and I just burst into tears.

All of a sudden, like the world was paying attention to what’s been going on within the Black community for so long, and it was a lot.

I remember one of my colleagues who is a white man—we actually summered together at my firm so I’ve known him literally my entire legal career, but he reached out to me because he was scheduled to present at our monthly team meeting.

Typically, we talk about developments within trademark law and things like that, but he really felt moved to say something about all that was going on last summer. And so he reached out to me for my thoughts, and he gave this speech at the meeting, and so many people were really inspired.

I also had a really beautiful conversation with our firm chairman about race in America and our thoughts and fears and concerns about it.

Even as the Derek Chauvin verdict was handed down there have been more instances of police brutality against Black people.

I was thinking about this post, a blog post that I posted on Juneteenth back in 2019. If you’re not familiar with Juneteenth, it commemorates the day that the last slaves in Texas received the news that they were free, more than two years after the Emancipation Proclamation was issued.

I titled the post “I Am My Ancestors’ Wildest Dreams.” I had bought a shirt, actually my whole family has shirts that say “I Am My Ancestors’ Wildest Dreams,” and in the post I was reflecting on the history of Black people in America and how it impacts me and my desire to achieve financial independence and all of that.

So today’s episode is going to draw on that post, so if you’ve been around since the blog days you might be familiar with some of what I’m going to talk about, but I still think it’s important, especially in this time.

A little about me, I am the first lawyer in my family, and as we know, the legal profession has been primarily dominated by white men for much of history.

I make more than my ancestors could ever have dreamed of making. I remember when I got my job offer, and I was talking to my grandfather about it.

He was born in the 1920s, and he had asked me about what I was going to be making. I told him, and I could tell that he was shocked at the amount that I would be making. He said something like, “Well you’re going to take it, aren’t you?”

Not too long ago, education was rare for Black people. One of my grandfathers received an education. He was a principal at one of the schools near the town where he lived, but one of my grandmothers wasn’t able to go to school. She couldn’t read. She cleaned houses for white women, which is one of the few jobs that was available to Black women who migrated north during the Jim Crow era.

If you’re not familiar with the Great Migration and things that were happening at that time, I highly recommend the book The Warmth of Other Suns. It provided a lot of color to stories that my grandparents had told me over the years.

But I mentioned that fact about education being rare because I went to the University of Alabama for law school. And some of my grandparents lived to see me graduate from the University of Alabama.

If you’re familiar at all with Alabama, it was very resistant to integration. There was actually a moment where students were supposed to be integrating the University of Alabama, and they were physically blocked from entering the school.

And so, 50 years after that, my grandparents, who lived through that time, were able to see me graduate from a school that they were literally blocked from entering.

When we talk about money in the Black community, I already mentioned that I make more than my ancestors made.

There have been many obstacles, you know, systemic racism, overt racism, right, that have prevented or hindered Black people from accumulating wealth throughout history.

And I’m not saying that no Black people have accumulated wealth, obviously, but the Black community as a whole has been unable to accumulate wealth in the same way that the white community has.

Some of the wealthiest white people in America built their wealth on the backs of Black bodies during slavery. I remember taking a course in college, and we looked at the top 10 wealthiest white Americans and the top 10 wealthiest Black Americans, and the wealthiest Black American had a fraction of the wealth of the 10th wealthiest white American. It was really interesting to see that contrast.

Even aside from that part of the building wealth, aside from the head start, so to speak, that many white families have had, Black families also tend to experience a negative wealth transfer.

And again, that’s not to say that it happens for all Black people and that’s not to say that it does not happen outside of or it doesn’t happen for other cultures. I know that it happens in other communities as well.

But rather than receiving an inheritance, often younger generations in Black families help to support older members of the family. We also tend to go further into debt to receive an education, and we tend to make less on average for the same job positions.

Over 150 years after the end of slavery, over 50 years after Jim Crow, the average Black family has 10% of the wealth of the average white family.

And I want to highlight that, even though people say things like, “Oh that was so long ago,” Jim Crow was not that long ago. Jim Crow happened in my parents’ lifetime.

I remember my dad telling me that the only time he remembers his grandmother hitting him was when he went to drink out of a white only water fountain. So this is not…like this is fairly recent history.

With all of this background, I entered the workforce back in 2014. I’ve talked before about my student loan debt.

I came out with a $100,000 plus student loan balance. My husband had $350,000 when we got married.

Despite all of the history that I just talked about, you know, all of the things that have happened in the history of Black Americans, I know that I’m making really good money.

I could tell myself this story about being behind and not being on the same level as other people, you know as white Americans who have opportunities that I didn’t have or whatever but I don’t do that because I can make the most of the opportunities I have available to me.

And I think, going back to our conversation about the stories that we tell ourselves, right, if I make all of these circumstances mean that I just won’t be able to achieve the things that other people will be able to achieve, that’s what’s going to happen.

One of the reasons that personal finance is so important to me is I don’t want the work and sacrifice of everyone who came before me to have been in vain.

I don’t want to waste the opportunities that are available to me that my ancestors never had. I want to have something to show for the money I’m making, and the way we were managing our money before, we wouldn’t have had anything to show for it. We didn’t have anything to show for it.

I told you before that in the two years or so that I was working before my son was born, we had a six-figure income for our family, but I couldn’t tell you where most of that money went.

We were doing the things that we were supposed to do. We save a little. We maxed out our 401(k)s, but there’s a whole lot more money that we brought in beyond what we kept. We could have made more progress had we been more intentional in the beginning.

So I want to leave a legacy for future generations. I want to be in a position to help family members if they need it. I want to be able to help others coming behind me.

For me, financial independence is more than just being in a comfortable position for me and my family. It’s more than just not having to rely on a job anymore.

It’s freedom, and financial stability that weren’t available to the people who came before me. We have come a really long way since slavery; I don’t want to diminish that. And although we still have a long way to go, I know that my ancestors would be so amazed at where we are today.

I am my ancestors’ wildest dreams. I’m going to do everything in my power to ensure that I live a life worthy of the price that they’ve paid.

A big part of that is working to achieve financial independence and changing the Black narrative for my family and for future generations.

And so for you, if you are a Black person listening, I want you to be mindful of the stories that you tell yourself about what is possible for you.

If you are not a Black person listening, I want you also to be mindful of the stories that you tell yourself about what’s possible for you.

We all encounter different obstacles in our lives, but we get to choose what we make them mean. And we can let them hold us back, or we can keep going and achieve things that we know that we’re capable of, despite whatever obstacles we face.

If you also want to change the narrative for the people coming behind you. You want to leave a legacy, whether you’re Black or another race, I’m here to help you.

You can head to rhothomas.com/coaching. Let’s set up a call we can talk about your plan, map it out, to achieve whatever your money goal is, whether it’s financial independence or something else.

So I hope this has been helpful for you or at the very least educational.

Please take a second to subscribe to the show on whatever platform you’re listening on. Leave a review. Those reviews help the show get seen by more people. Share this episode with a friend who you think might also benefit.

Come connect with me over on social media. My handle is @iamrhothomas on Instagram, and you can also find me on LinkedIn.

Okay, friend, so as we close out, I pray that you will take a second to reflect on what has happened in your history and what you’re making it mean about what’s possible for you.

I pray that you will think about the legacy that you want to leave for your family and how you want to change the narrative for those coming behind you.

And as always, I pray that you continue to take steps to regain control of your time, build wealth and live the life of freedom and choice, you deserve.

Talk to you later.