139 | “I Can’t Manage My Money Better Because…”

Whenever you want to do something new, like managing your money better, your brain will present all the reasons why you can’t.

But just as there may be reasons why you can’t do the new thing, there are also plenty of reasons why you can.

In this episode, let’s talk about why your brain tries to stop you from doing new things and explore all the reasons you think you can’t manage your finances better and how to overcome them.

• when you look to the past as evidence of what you can do in the present
• the similarities between litigating a case and your thoughts about new things you want to do
• exploring why you believe you can’t manage your money better
• why the reasons you believe you can’t manage your money better are the keys to actually doing so
• why your brain tries to prevent you from doing new things
• why many people get into cycles of doing the same things over and over with their money
• how to overcome the reasons you believe you can’t manage your money better
• what happens when you change your beliefs about what’s possible with your money
• what happens when you couple belief with a proven strategy

Money Mastery group program

If you’re ready to learn the mindset and strategies to master your money, let’s schedule a call.

You’re listening to Wealthyesque. We are a community of lawyers who believe that true wealth is having control of our time. I’m Rho Thomas, and as a busy wife, mom and former Biglaw associate, I know all too well the tension between the culture of the legal profession and pretty much everything else you want to do in life. That’s why each week, I’m bringing you the information and tools you need to improve your money mindset and manage your money to create true wealth. Because ultimately, it’s not about the money. It’s about the freedom and flexibility the money affords.

Hey friends, welcome back to the show. I hope you’re doing well and having an amazing day so far. If you are listening to this episode the day it comes out so Friday February 17. Today is the last day to schedule an enrollment consultation for my group program Money Mastery. Come learn the process that is helping lawyers pay off debt, build their savings and change the way they think and feel about their money. Just head to rho thomas.com/call To schedule your consultation and let’s talk about how Money Mastery can help you. Alright, so today we are talking about the reasons you believe that you can’t manage your money better. I’ve talked to a lot of lawyers who have all these reasons why they believe they can’t do it. The things that haven’t worked for them in the past thoughts about this just being who they are, right? I’m the kind of person who can’t say or I’m the kind of person who likes to spend or whatever it is. All the reasons they doubt there’s anything they can do to turn this interesting because you’re looking at this thing that you want, right, this change that you want. And then you’re looking to the past all the things that haven’t worked out as evidence of what you can or can’t do in the present. I’ve talked before about how there are two sides to every story, we can always find evidence to support both sides, just like with the law. So if you’re litigating a case, there are all these facts around what happened and some of them are really good for your client and some of them are not so good for your client. You’re not going to highlight all the bad ones to the court, right? You’re not going to leave with those in your arguments. You’re gonna address them, but that’s not what you’re focusing on. So why when it comes to your personal finances, do you leave with all the bad facts? And I use facts in a metaphorical way here because often the reasons that we give ourselves aren’t objective facts, but you don’t want to lead with all the arguments that undermine your case. When you’re thinking about your personal finances. You’re like, yeah, let me present those. Let me focus on all of those anymore the good ones. Every time you focus on all the reasons why you can’t manage money better, and the things that haven’t worked in the past, you’re presenting arguments to yourself leading with those bad facts. You’re basically arguing for yourself to stay in that past to stay in the situation that you don’t want to be in when there is also evidence that you can change your finances, that you can have a different financial situation that it is possible for you. But you’re ignoring all of that and focusing on why it’s not possible. So I want you to think about that. What are all the reasons that you think you can’t manage your money better? What’s every single thing that comes to mind for why you can’t do it? And it can be a situation in your life. It could be some circumstance about your finances, something about who you are as a person, whatever it is, for you listed out. Every single one of those reasons is a key to changing your finances. Because every single reason that you came up with is a part of why you haven’t taken steps to improve your finances yet, or why you started before but haven’t been able to stick with it. Your brain is wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. So it’s always looking for reasons why you can’t do something new. Why you can’t change your brain wants things to stay the same because saying feels comfortable, right? Change feels dangerous. And many of us have negative feelings associated with money. So change related to your finances may feel especially dangerous. So your brain wants to stay away from that. That’s why when you’re wanting to change the way you approach your finances, you’re right like Danger. Danger, stay away. And you find all these reasons why you can’t do it. Our brains are constantly scanning for danger because of the way we evolved, where we literally had to look out for danger as a matter of life or death. But in the modern world, and especially when we’re talking about your personal finances, it’s not typically a matter of life or death. And unless we override that we’ll keep doing things that feel good and avoiding things that feel bad that our brain perceives as dangerous and we get into these autopilot cycles doing the same things over and over again, but then what to expect different results. That’s exactly what happens for many people with their finances, where they’re doing the same things over and over. They’re not making conscious decisions about their money and they keep ending up in the same position. But it’s all because nothing is changing. So when you keep presenting yourself with the reasons why you can’t do something different, why you can’t change why you can’t improve your finances. You’re feeling those negative feelings that you have around money. And when you’re focused on those things. You’re not focused on thinking intentionally about how to manage your finances and how to approach your spending differently to achieve your goals. If you truly believe that you can’t do it, that all the reasons you have are valid and that’s just the way it is. Then what are you supposed to do? It’s just like when we talk about when you believe that things just happen in your finances and there’s nothing you can do to change them. If that’s true, then you’re just stuck where you are. There’s nothing you can do to change so you might as well give up anyway. But what if you’re wrong? What if instead you start questioning all those reasons you wrote down? What if the reasons you believe you can’t manage your money better aren’t true? Or even if they aren’t technically true, what if something else is also true? What else could be true about your ability to manage your finances better? What are all the reasons it is possible for you to manage your money better? What’s one thing you could do today to start improving your finances? Just like we talked about earlier, you don’t have to leave with all the bad facts when you presented your arguments. There are some good ones in here too. So let’s focus on those. Because when you start changing those beliefs and knocking down those reasons, standing between you and changing your finances, and you start building up the ones that support you managing your money better. That’s where the magic happens when you start believing different things you start doing different things. You start taking steps to improve your finances because you believe that those steps will even make a difference in the first place. It reminds me of the Henry Ford quote that says whether you believe you can or believe you can’t You’re right. If you believe you can’t do it, that you have all these reasons in the way that are keeping you from managing your finances better. You won’t even try because you think it would be a waste of time. So what’s the point? But if you believe that you can do it, you believe that it is possible for you, you’ll at least get started. And when you take that first step it’ll lead to the next one and the next one and the next one after that, and eventually to the change that you want to see. And when you couple those new beliefs, those good facts about your finances with tried and true strategies, you have no choice but to get the results you’re looking for. Your success is inevitable because you’re approaching a proven process with the belief that you can do it and you’re committed to getting the results you want. That is the work that I do with my clients 90% of personal finances mental having the right mindset sets, everything else in motion. It’s like the magic ingredient that you mix with the strategy to create the finances you want. So listen, this is available to you. I have the strategy and I’ll help you cultivate the mindset to mix with it and achieve your goals. If you’re listening to this episode on the day it comes out February 17. Today is the last day to schedule your consultation for my group program. So let’s take this work deeper and get you to where you want to be with your finances had to rho thomas.com/call To get started. And if you’re listening after the day this comes out make sure you get on the waitlist to work with me at rho thomas.com/waitlist. So you’ll be the first to know the next time I’m taking on new clients. All right, that is it for this week’s episode. Connect with me on social media you can find me on LinkedIn rho, Thomas, and Instagram, I am rho Thomas. Subscribe to the show and leave a review both of which help more people to find it. And please think of a friend or two who could use this information and share this episode with them. As we close out friend I pray that you take the information you learn here, apply it in your life and open up to the realization that wealth is available to you. As you do that consistently. Week after week. You’ll continue to take steps to regain control of your time, build wealth and live a life of freedom choice you deserve. Talk to you later.